As a profoundly embarrassed "Gimme More" apologist (I think it's a good song, okay?!), all of the recent Britney Spears kerfuffle has me feeling awfully torn. After all, I like the song. But everything that's happened in relation to the release of said song is more than a little disappointing.

And I'm including the official music video on that list. It's not just that there's something profoundly creepy about blonde Britney Spears sitting at a bar and getting turned on by watching brunette Britney Spears shake her moneymaker. It's also the seedy club, the uninspired pole-dancing, the weird fake arm tattoo... Oh, good grief, she literally rubs up against the wall for the part where she says she's up against the wall. Boo-urns.

In short -- oh, dear. I'm still a fan, Brit-Brit. But if you could put a little more effort in, that'd be great. We're all saying give us more, at this point.

What happens when you mash-up the biggest train wreck of a performance in MTV history with the bizarre viral-video rant that resulted from it? Believe it or not, something pretty f'in' fresh.

For those of you who have been off the grid for the past few weeks, on Sept. 9, Britney Spears put the final nail in the coffin that is her career when she appeared doped-up, out-of-shape, and in dire need of a lip-sync tune-up during a pathetic rendition of her new single, "Gimme More," at the MTV Video Music Awards. The very next day, Chris Crocker, a sexually ambiguous, hysterical young lad from Tennessee posted an impassioned defense of the troubled pop-tart on his YouTube page. The clip went viral -- in a very big way -- and before Crocker could say "drama queen," he had himself a reality series.

It's safe to say that neither clip is an example of bonafide artistic talent. The same cannot be said, however, for this remix of the two vids by AV maestro DJ Cobra. A well-known turntablist from Los Angeles, Cobra also boasts some nifty video-editing chops. And, as the old saying goes, he's got a knack for making chicken salad out of chicken shit.

Jennifer Lopez's live performance of her new single "Do It Well," on the British talk show Parkinson, is a perfect antidote to the Britney Spears VMA Music Awards disaster. Lopez looks great, she works the stage and the crowd with cheery abandon -- and it actually sounds like she's singing live. Sure, this video clip does lack the David Lachappelle human-sized-Habitrail touch, but when Lopez keeps the beat pumping even a cappella, we're willing to forgive that oversight.

Is Amy Winehouse pulling a Britney Spears? The "Rehab" singer's performance at the MOBO awards may not have been quite the trainwreck that Spears's VMA debacle was, but it was certainly enough to raise some eyebrows.

Winehouse wasn't exactly helped any by the tacky she's-a-fuckup-but-we-love-her-anyway intro, but her glassy-eyed confusion during "Tears Dry on Their Own" and her mumble-mouthed incoherence on "Me and Mr. Jones" were what really sealed the deal. Also not helping subdue the chatter were the leaked reports of her backstage rider demands: two bottles each of Jack Daniels, Rioja, and Champagne, a large bottle of vodka, and two 24 bottle cases of Heineken.

Here's the thing, though: I'm all for spotting a celeb meltdown in the making, but, well, that's how Amy Winehouse always looks when she performs. I, personally, have never seen her clear-eyed or witnessed a performance where I could understand a damn word she was singing. She was already, at best, a bleary-eyed mushmouth, and at worst a woman in a steady drug-addled holding pattern. So I honestly don't know if she's really doing any worse than before.

Which begs the question: How do you know if someone's in a downward spiral if their normal standard of behavior is so far off from, well, normal?