Britney Spears' new single "Gimme More" isn't such a bad song. The remix with TI is even better. Britney's performance of "Gimme More" at MTV's Video Music Awards, on the other hand, was really just... depressing.

In fact, the word "performance" is such a vast overstatement of what Britney did, I don't even know what word I could put in its place to adequately describe what really happened. Is there a verb for "show up and look incredibly unenthused while lip-synching badly and occasionally walking to another part of the stage?"

Wearing practically nothing and throwing in the occasional bump & grind, Britney should, in theory, come off as a mesmerizing vixen. Instead, she just seems tired and almost resentful to be there, as if to say, "Sure, you can wake me up from my nap and make me do lame choreography, but you can't make me like it."

The last minute is particularly painful; at that point, the only thing Britney could do to make things more morosely lethargic would be to lie down and finish the song while chain-smoking and eating Cheetos.

Sexy Britney was fun. Crazy Britney was fun, for a while, at least. Sad, limp Britney? Not fun. Kind of a downer. Somebody get this girl a Red Bull and some love, STAT.

“Oh My God” is the first single from Mark Ronson’s new album Version. For those of you [Americans] who don’t know who he is and are confused as to why this isn’t billed as a Lily Allen song since she does all the singing, Ronson is a London DJ who, over the past few years, has gained some notoriety for his covers of rock and pop songs. This new album is no different: in addition to “Oh My God,” which was originally sung by the Kaiser Chiefs, tracks include covers of Coldplay, Ryan Adams, Britney Spears, The Zutons and Kasabian, among others.

Anyway, the video is a Roger Rabbit-esque club scene featuring an animated Lily Allen seducing the various male patrons with her singing. In a classy move, she also blows a kiss to the Kaiser Chiefs, who appear in the video (“Thanks for letting me borrow your song, boys!”) as some of the aforementioned lovestruck patrons.

As cool as it all is, I can’t help but be a little disappointed that Lily Allen doesn’t make a flesh-and-blood appearance; she’s a sexy little firecracker. I would be afraid to ever date her though… half of her songs are about the sexual dysfunctions of the various boys she’s been with. Not that I have any. I swear. Oops.

Britney Spears would like y'all to know: she's back. Having shed her baby/Federline/rehab weight, the pop diva to beat all pop divas kicked off her comeback tour last night in San Diego, and this cameraphone footage proves that her "Toxic" booty-shaking is as sharp as ever. TDR Managing Editor and Internet Tastemaker Alexandra Delyle had this to say on the subject: "girlfriend looks smokin'." Looking forward to the new stuff, Brit-Brit!

Oh, popular culture. Even when we don't want to know who might be the subject of Britney's freshly leaked single, the former Mr. Spears' oh-so-hardcore nickname keeps us from pleading ignorance. Really, there are so many things about Britney Spears we never wished to know, but she refuses to stop telling us about them; that she's chosen to do so in a new single represents some kind of change, at least.

But the song's name is by far the most clever thing about it. On a musical level (yeah, we know) "Fed-Up" is no more offensive than any of the artist's lighter fare, but doesn't even begin to approach the cheesy dance goodness of "Crazy" or "Toxic." Which is a shame, because Ms. Spears has some serious work to do in order to win back her once-adoring public. She has some self-delusion to overcome first, though.

"So take a picture of me I don't care/Gets me driving in my underwear." Underwear, Britney? We'd honestly prefer that to the alternative.