Jennifer Lopez's "Do It Well," the first single from the new album Brave, is a funky celebration of bringing hotness and commitment together. The video, on the other hand... You know how sometimes you see a video, and you think, "Damn, that is the perfect depiction of everything that song is about," and then the song and the video really resonate with you for a long time? Yeah. This isn't one of those times.

So Jennifer Lopez is this badass beyotch in a supersexy trench coat, and she gets this message that she needs to help the world's youngest fry cook get to Union Street. So she goes to a club where they have strippers in Habitrails, pushes a guy down the stairs, gets another guy in a chokehold, has a dance break, shoves and punches eight or nine more guys, has another dance break, passes a dude in a mousetrap, has another dance break, saves the little fry cook, kicks one last guy down the stairs, and leaves. Presumably for Union Street.

Feel the heat. Feel the love. Feel the inimitable, "Look, Ma, I'm directing" style of the famously edgy David LaChapelle. Feel the need to wonder aloud, "The hell?"

If you're like me, you may well not have given Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians much thought lately. After all, their biggest single was "What I Am," off 1998's Shooting Rubberbands at the Stars. They had a few other modest hits, but after Ghost of a Dog in 1990, Brickell married Paul Simon, and New Bohemians pretty much dropped off the radar.

But that's been changing, with a live album in 2000 and a new album, Stranger Things, last year. Other than Brickell's return, the biggest change in the lineup has been the addition of talented Dallas musician Jeffrey Carter Albrecht as keyboardist, completing the transformation of the New Bohemians, who started life as a three-person ska band back in the day, into a fully modern rock band. Tragically, Albrecht was killed this weekend by his girlfriend's neighbor, who shot him through the front door after mistaking him for a burglar.

Albrecht, who also played with Dallas band Sorta as well as his own group Sparrows, did not seem to be one to hog the spotlight. Even when stepping out from behind the keyboard to play guitar, he didn't actually step out from behind the keyboard. But as his musicianship in this live New Bohemians performance of "No Dinero" shows, he made his mark onstage not by being seen, but by being heard.

Albrecht was 34 years old.

John Mayer may be the King of Sissy Rock, but never let it be said that the guy doesn't like to mix things up. He got white people dancing on Chappelle's Show, he donned a bear suit to chat with fans on his own show (the little seen and creatively named John Mayer Has a TV Show), and now he's broken out this tearful post-show confession at Red Rocks Ampitheatre.

Seems that John's regularly scheduled backstage pit bull fight went awry during the show, and things went downhill from there. Oopsie.

I'm sure an angry letter from the National American Pit Bull Terrier Association is on its way as we speak, but I myself prefer to focus on the positive, such as John's fine use of the word "truncated." You don't get a lot of good "truncated" nowadays.

Pan away!

While I don't know if this video is, as guitarist Jamie Cook claimed in an MTV interview, "one of the best videos in, like, the last ten years," it is a lot of fun. Plus, unlike a hell of a lot of videos hitting the streets lately, it actually seems to have something to do with the song.

Sure, on the surface, it may just look like the madcap mayhem of a bunch of vigilante clowns. But much like the way the song's jaunty beat and clever, rapid-fire lyrics slowly reveal the lament of a faded party girl, at its heart this video is lamenting lost innocence. It just happens to achieve that by featuring Snatch's Stephen Graham as an angry clown haunted by his past as he confronts a childhood friend gone bad.

Plus, clowns beating up bank robbers! Who doesn't enjoy that?

Take an impossibly catchy hook and paranoid-chic lyrics, add joyfully provocative images like mushroom clouds and cheerleaders in gas masks, and -- if you're lucky enough to be fronted by Gerard Way, the man who launched a thousand fanfics -- you've got yourself a hit.

But "Teenagers" is more than just a seductively jaunty anthem of adolescent alienation; it's also Way's commentary on teen gun crime. The video ends with the words "VIOLENCE IS NEVER THE ANSWER" and a message urging kids to get help if they feel like acting out. Still, there's a fine line being walked here, and when your lyrics go, "if you're troubled and hurt, what you got under your shirt will make them pay for the things that they did," you're placing a lot of faith in your fans' sense of irony.

Of course, that doesn't mean I won't be singing "Teenagers scare the living shit out of me" softly to myself all day long. Yeah!