Everyone has their own way of dealing with unpleasant facts about the world. Some of us confront them head-on. Some of us snark about them on the Internet while doing nothing substantive to fix the problem. Some of us drink heavily. (Some of us do two out of three.) But there aren't a lot of adults who admit to the "nah nah nah I don't know what you're talking about" approach. It's fun to know that President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is one of them.

During the Iranian president's controversial Q&A at Columbia University, he was asked point-blank about the treatment of homosexuals in his country. And apparently, it's fine -- because there are no homosexuals in Iran. Cue the laughter of the student body. But he's not joking.

I suppose what he actually means to say is that the openly gay lifestyle is completely non-existent in Iran, which is true. This is because persecution is rampant and public hangings of the openly homosexual are not unheard-of, given that all penetrative sexual acts between men are punishable by death. Given what that says about the state of human rights there, maybe I'll take a cue from Mahmoud, and try avoidance for a little while.

When I was sent a link to "If Larry Craig Were Gay," I thought to myself, "Oh, my God, if they used 'If You Were Gay' from Avenue Q, that would be the most awesome thing ever. *sigh* But they won't, and I'll just be sad, and have the song stuck in my head all day, as if to mock me." I've never been so happy to be wrong. This video puts the embattled Idahoan senator and the zany puppet musical together in a way that actually exceeds anything I could have imagined.

For those who have been living under a rock: After pleading guilty to a charge of disorderly conduct in an airport men's room -- that conduct being trying to get friendly with the undercover cop in the next stall -- staunchly anti-gay-rights Senator Larry Craig has been running around like a big closeted gay chicken with its big gay head cut off, saying, "I'm not gay, I'm not gay, I'm not gay, notgaynotgaynotgaynotgaynoooootgaaaaay."

Avenue Q is a show in which puppets sing songs like "It Sucks to Be Me" and "The Internet is for Porn." It also features a character, Nicky, who suspects his roommate Rod is gay. (And that's okay.)

The combined result is genius. And afterwards, you may be in the mood for another song from Avenue Q. It's called "Schadenfreude."

From San Francisco's CBS 5 News comes the revelation that the Pentagon once investigated the possibility of developing a bomb that would turn enemy soldiers gay. No, really. An Air Force lab sent a proposal to the Pentagon which suggested weaponizing "strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior." In other words -- to distill what I'm sure was an incredibly sophisticated thought process -- the plan was to develop some sort of powerful gay-i-fying juice and spray it all over enemy troops. Then, as said troops became distracted and weakened from their compulsive buggering of one another, we would seize military victory and sail to glory.

No, really.

There's also an interview with a gay woman saying that the proposal's implication -- that gay behavior is a "distasteful" thing -- is offensive. Me, I wonder how offensive any American might find it that our military seems to be lifting its weaponization strategy from discarded "South Park" concepts. I mean... come on... really?