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Texas Rangers Score 30 Runs In Win!
It's a funny old game, baseball. You can be a last place team and, on any given night, your bats could explode for... oh, I don't know... 30 RUNS! What? What?! My eyes: they exploded. I am without eyeballs, right now. The shock was too great. I really need to go to a hospital.
Last night, the Texas Rangers turned the opening game of their double-header against the Baltimore Orioles into a blowout by NFL standards. I thought I was reading a football score when I saw the result flash across the ticker on ESPN, last night. Twenty-nine hits? Texas is the first baseball team to score thirty runs (again, that's 3-0) in 110 years.
The linked video is actually the ESPNNews highlights of the game, but it's only appropriate. The studio anchors really put into perspective the absurdity of this blowout with observations such as, "24-3. So the Orioles are down three touchdowns here..." Hell, Texas hit two grand slams for crying out loud. Not even in the chintziest Disney sports movie will you see something like that.
Cripes! Imagine you're Baltimore, in this scenario. You're at home playing in front of possibly the most demoralized crowd in the history of organized sports. You still have another game to play immediately after this one. Trailing 30-3 in the bottom of the ninth, you look to the manager who offers an inspiring battle-cry of, "Okay, boys! We're only down 27 runs. We can pull this one out!"
The irony in all of this? Baltimore actually led 3-0. Remember, Texas is a last-place ball club. Oh baseball, you so crazy.
